25. Feeling Stuck on Your Purpose: What Patterns are Blocking Your Light?

We are in Leo season. Think of the element of fire. It is hot and the sun is shining longer than other seasons allowing us to feel like we have more time during the day. 

If you are feeling stuck, you are not alone. We all have an individual purpose and allowing your own light to shine brightly is the entire point. Dimming your light is not helpful and likely keeping you stuck. Allowing others to step into their purpose and not trying to control their reactions brings you more freedom on your own path. Your children desire to follow their purpose as well. Guiding by the example of trying new things shows them what is possible. Allowing your partner to step into their purpose brings more freedom for you to enjoy your own.

Eckhart Tolle talks about plants and animals in nature being what they are in his book Stillness Speaks. Cathy Heller speaks about the sun still shining even if the clouds block it. We are not here to shrink. It's not look at me, it's "I have something beautiful to share.

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Transcript

Sarah Swift 0:10

Welcome to the Integrative Mother Experience Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Swift, wife of twenty-eight years and mother of three teenagers. I want to have conversations about why so many mamas wearing multiple hats, working, serving others, or owning a business, especially in the beauty industry, feel like they need to choose between their work and their family, and they don't have enough quality time. We'll also uncover causes of overwhelm, lack of wellbeing, and joy. I'm here with over three decades of experience working in the beauty industry, owning several types of businesses starting in my early twenties, and sharing stories to help other mothers avoid that feeling of always missing out. I'm also here with solutions. Time is an asset that we can't get back. I can't wait to dive into these deep conversations. I hope you will join me. Welcome back, beautiful mamas. Today's episode is going to be about the season that we are in right now, the season of Leo. This season has the element of fire, and it is ruled by the sun, which we have these bright, beautiful, hot days. You may have been feeling the heat of the season, and that might mean that you're physically feeling it, and it might mean that you're feeling it deep within as well. So let's dive in. I'm going to start with one of the verses. I choose a verse every morning, and today I chose, "For I know the plans I have for you," Jeremiah 29:11. And when I choose these, they are chosen randomly. So this is what came to me today. And then I also have another resource I choose every day. Again, it's just chose randomly. And the card says, "By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before." And the bottom of this little frame says, "Today I choose happiness." So that's there every day, but the quote is different depending upon what I randomly choose. So those are just some fun little things I start my day off with, one being very spiritual, one being just putting me in the mode of choosing happiness, and that is some of the ways that I like to start off my mornings. So the question I have for you is, have you lately been feeling stuck? And if you have, this is very normal. This is being felt by a lot of people. Do you feel like maybe you're blocking something, that there's something trying to come in that you are able to receive if you stop that blocking, or you're able to release whatever is making you feel stuck? I love, love, love the explanation that one of my mentors had about the season that we're in right now, and I think it's really easy to think about this analogy. So think about the sun, and think about how it doesn't stop shining. It just becomes blocked by the clouds. And so whether or not you are feeling like it's safe to be seen, you have an inner light that's always shining. And so if you're allowing that courage to come up to be fully seen, then the sun in this analogy isn't being blocked by the clouds. You are just being you, and you're just gonna shine. You're, you're not dimming your light, and you're just feeling like, I have something to contribute." It's not about look at me. So that's what I really want to express today, that being seen doesn't necessarily mean that you're trying to draw attention to yourself. When it is fully aligned, it's actually about wanting to contribute, wanting something deeper. And you think about how this world is moving, and everything is just so fast. It's more. Your Amazon boxes are being delivered all the time. I'm getting ready right now for a really big celebration, an event for one of my children, and I just came back from another beautiful experience. I traveled with my family for a wedding out of state. And in between all of this, it was how am I going to enjoy the celebration of the wedding and then come back with, I'm not even kidding, a pile of laundry that was a mound on my laundry room floor and prepare for this event that's going to be held at my house? And it's just really interesting because I have three teenagers, and my husband and I were a little bit surprised at some of the lack of help that we were receiving. And then we just decided that we're not going to let anyone else's attitude or lack of help dim our lights. We are going to do this. We're going to ask for what we need. We're going to delegate out, but we're going to move forward. We're going to be joyful. And what I did for this is I took breaks in between cleaning and prepping and running around getting supplies, and I would just go into creativity mode. So I would just start decorating because that really lit me up. And the two of us would tear up when we're looking at photos of our child, and we're just so grateful that our children are here and that we're blessed with another day. This is just how I go back into filling my cup and allowing myself to really have the moment of joy that I need before I go back into doing. And it's just interesting because I think with the way the world moves so fast and the demand and wanting more, there tends to be this feeling of entitlement for some. And I really try to not let that feeling affect me when I notice it about others. I think that if I go back into my faith and you think about just letting God be God, not limiting and just allowing the blessings that are sent our way. It's not about entitlement, it's about when something is truly yours to enjoy and to have, fully receiving it. And love doesn't try to control people's reactions, and that's something that I really had to work on in my years of self-development, is you can't control other people's reactions. They are where they are at that moment, and they are where they are in their own self-development journey. And I am where I am, and I'm going to move forward. I think about this technique that I learned several years back, and it was by a professional that I was working with, and she called it machine mode. And it's something that I will go into and had to overcome, and was old enough at that time and mature enough to really recognize that this was a pattern that I had and really listen to what happens in my body when the machine mode comes in. And for me, I've always been very nurturing, very feminine, I love pretty things, but yet my pattern was to go into machine mode. And I won't go deep into why, you know, it has to do with patterns and things, from a young age, but this is the mode that I would go into, and it was very unaligned to me. It's really not how I'm made to be. It's not me being in my true alignment. And it's interesting because I was listening to someone speak earlier this week, and they were talking about how some of the women achievers that they know that have been in the eyes of, you know, many people very popular women achievers, just keep going for more. Keep trying to achieve more, and then they get more, and it actually creates more overwhelm. And interestingly enough, it was talked about how their husbands were kind of like on the sidelines, is how I interpreted it, because the achievers, the woman was in more of her masculine energy and just kept overachieving and over-accomplishing and doing, doing, doing. And that doesn't necessarily allow their partners to be in their masculine energy and to really provide and nurture their partner. And I thought this was really interesting because if you're not naturally aligned that way and that's not how God made you, then that's not going to feel good in your body. And it was, it was an interesting conversation because the conversation was about how the women that weren't aligned this way really were feeling it and how it was affecting them. And I really can relate to that, that doing everything for everybody else and being out of alignment myself and not really being in the integrity of how God made me and what I'm here to do, it really doesn't help anyone. Especially doesn't help me fill my cup the way that I'm supposed to, and then it takes other people out of their purpose, and it doesn't allow them to really truly step up into their roles, which is really important. And I think it's really a perfect way to think about it when I read in one of my books by Eckhart Tolle, in Stillness Speaks, "In nature, unlike humans, animals and plants, they don't split themselves in two. They just are." So almost back to the same analogy of the sun. The sun just shines. It's not worried about if someone doesn't, you know, have their sunglasses on and they think it's too bright. It's just going to shine. It's just doing its job. And I believe that's what he's speaking to like this also is the plants are just going to grow and bloom, especially if they're watered. And the animal is just going to go about the way that it was meant to be in nature and n-not worry about what anything else around it is interpreting. It's just going to do its job and be whatever it is. So when I ponder this, I just really, I think about how we all have gifts to share. And if you're feeling like there's a block or you're feeling stuck, maybe just journaling about what it is that you really feel aligned to do and what your true desires are. I really like to think about how every positive act lights a candle because we all have that light within us. And so if we let it shine, it's really for the collective. You're doing one good deed and it could just help so many people because you're, if you're shining your light and you're making somebody else feel good or you're doing something else, you know, maybe then they're lighting a candle for somebody else at their job or in their family or at the store that they stop at after interacting with you in that positive way. It just has such a positive ripple effect that I think we underestimate what it can really do. I love the analogy of the word impossible because when you break it down and it says I'm possible, is right in the word. The last thing that I'm going to discuss is our soul having a strong, clear desire to fully contribute. So regardless of the triggers of others, your soul is here to do what it's here to do. And again, one of my mentors was talking about this month how identity knows it has something beautiful to give, and it gives whether people like it or not. Just pausing on that, it's just so beautiful. It's so true if we really think about how individual and unique we all are and how allowing that beautiful gift to come out, and it's not up to anyone around us because we're all made with individual identity gifts. And opposite of that would be the ego, and that's just the ego wanting attention. And so trying to regulate your nervous system just to belong, and really needing that approval and feeling like it's unsafe or you need somebody else's permission just to be you. I will speak for myself when I say, I no longer want that for myself or for anyone around me. I just want to be the light that I'm intended to be, and I want to help others and light that candle and have that positive ripple effect and show my children what the possibilities are. And that's what I'm here to do. And if you are interested in being part of my community and learning more and going deeper, I would love to have you. I ended my day yesterday with one of my customers at the salon saying to me as she left, I could talk to you all day. I could have conversations with you all day." And that just made me feel so good. That is truly what makes me feel like I'm in alignment, when I'm having the deep conversations and I'm making somebody really feel like they're being seen and heard, as am I, and it's reciprocal. And in my group, we are here to lift each other up, support each other, and I'm also available for one-on-one. So at this point in time, my next cohort isn't going to start until after the kids go back to school. And if you're really feeling like you're stuck and you just need a little help, you can also reach out to me and we can do one-on-one. So go to theintegrativemotherexperience.com. You can sign up for my free private community to start. Or if you're just ready to go and you know that this is the aligned decision, you can start working with me today. It's right on my website, and simply press the button, and you will be linked to start working with me immediately. I'm going to end this episode with a prayer for healing. My Lord and my God, you are the divine physician and the good shepherd. Your love and mercy transcend everything. Please give me the grace to see myself the way you see me. Help me to look upon my current or past hurts with faith and hope that you are here with me and that you love me, and that you will transform me. Help me to look at you as my model of forgiveness and mercy towards anyone who has caused me harm. Please give me the grace to see them the way you see them, and to grant them the same forgiveness that you grant me. If any buried or painful memories come to the surface, please give me the courage to bring those wounds to you for healing so that I may be made new and may know more deeply your love for me and others. Free me, O Lord, where I am bound, so that I may embrace the abundant joy that comes from a life lived in union with you. Amen. Thank you beautiful mamas. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please follow or subscribe to the Integrative Mother Experience. That way you won't miss out on future episodes. Feel free to share it with another mom if you think that it would be helpful. You can also start today by grabbing my free checklist or joining my free private Time Mama community, which is on my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Scroll down, enter your name and email, and you will start receiving the information right away to start connecting with other moms. Follow me on Instagram. You can DM me there @timewithsarahswift. Have a joy-filled day