19. Overcoming Your Overwhelm as a Mom Owning a Business: 5 Part Transformation Series, Investing in Your 2.0 Self

This 5 part series starts with the end vision result. The overwhelm you may be experiencing as both a mom and business owner serving in many roles. Overwhelm is very common and overcoming it requires noticing a pattern. 

Your 2.0 self is available on the other side of your transformation. It requires a decision to invest in yourself and do the work. Dabbling or hoping someone else can do it for you is not an option. 

You are likely a woman that chooses to help others working within a service industry, but how often do you choose your own well-being? I allowed decades to go by before I chose to do the work. You don't become stronger just because you went through a hardship. It is what you choose during and after that can make you stronger, depending on your capacity.

I share some of my own hero's journey story in this episode, so that you can see the possibility of more quality time, even after multiple hardships over several decades. A traumatic accident and loss a few years ago was the catalyst for my transformation. I go deeper in my course experience with my private group, but I share this because I don't want you to wait for something unexpected to happen. I feel so grateful I had already done the deep work when another traumatic accident happened recently. I had already transformed my salon business to my dream schedule, beautiful income and had my preferred communication in place. There was and still is a large amount of demand on my time, therefore my new flexible schedule was such a gift even more. My capacity to feel my feelings and then handle everything that kept happening with trust in God, grace towards other's unconscious behavior and the wisdom to choose the next best step daily.

Takeaway questions to ask yourself:

- What are my values?

- What feelings do I want to experience?

-What makes me feel unaligned or unfulfilled?

If you are ready to invest in yourself with a guide and framework for your new practices, take the next best step below.

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Transcript

5 Part Transformation Series

Sarah Swift 0:15

Welcome to the Integrative Mother Experience Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Swift, wife of 28 years and mother of three teenagers. I want to have conversations about why so many mamas wearing multiple hats, working and serving others, or owning a business, especially in the beauty industry, feel like they don't have enough time and that they need to choose between their work and their family. We'll also uncover causes of overwhelm, lack of wellbeing, and joy. I am here with over three decades of experience working in the beauty industry, owning several types of businesses starting in my early 20s, and sharing stories along with solutions to help other mothers avoid the feeling of always missing out. Time is an asset that we can't get back. I can't wait to dive into these deep conversations. I hope you will join me. Welcome back, beautiful mamas. Today's episode is part of a five-part series, working backwards. So we're starting with the end result, and that is your 2.0 version transformation. So let's dive in. Your 2.0 version that's waiting for you is waiting for you to say yes to your transformation and to overcome all the overwhelm. So the example I'm going to start with today is asking, what is your role in this new season? If you're going to say yes to the new version of yourself, what is going to happen, and what are you going to do different? I watch occasionally a series where there is a character that is a doctor, and she has done multiple roles in her career. She excels at all of them. She is very driven, very talented, and she is for sure a leader. But she is watching everything become full circle now as her husband is starting in a role, and he's extremely excited about it, that she has already done. And it's wonderful because he is excited about doing it. The role needs to be filled. She did it. She no longer wants to do it, and she understands it deeply. And maybe that's you. Maybe you are in a position where you need to move forward to a new role, but you're afraid to take the leap like she did to try new things when you've outgrown it, and it's time for you to step up into a new role. And by doing this, you're allowing someone else to fill the role and your new version of yourself to step into what she wants in the season. So by dabbling and not investing and not committing to something, we're never going to find that full transformation. We have to actually do the thing. And part of that is believing in yourself and investing. You know that you are meant to do something different. And maybe you do read a lot of books, maybe you listen to a lot of podcasts, maybe you take a lot of free trainings, but you never actually commit and you never actually invest with a guide and a framework that actually takes you to that next role, that next version of yourself, that you're feeling the nudge and you're feeling that discontentment inside of you and you know that you're meant to do. So part of this is that there's just so much noise. And if we're looking to the left and looking to the right, trying to copy what other people are doing, you're not even living the best version of yourself. That's somebody else's path. And each of us have our own individual path. So it's only really when we sit in the stillness and we find out what God is actually saying to us, that we can start to release some of that pressure of the expectations that are based on other people's perceptions. So an example of that might be, well, everybody in my career field works, whatever it may be, Monday through Friday, nine to five. And so that's just what we do. Well, if that's the case and it's not aligning with you, it might be time to take on a different career path, start your own business, find a different way to have a different schedule if that is feeling unaligned. And there may be baby steps to that happening, but it's listening to that inner desire of something different than where you are. Maybe the narrative is, I can only relax when I've earned it. So I'm just going to go all day. I'm not going to take bathroom breaks. I'm going to drink coffee and dehydrate myself instead of having water and nourishing snacks or food. And then I'll relax at the end of the day. Well, your body is definitely going to feel that, whether you acknowledge it or not. Anyone that you're interacting with, whether that's your team, maybe it's customers, maybe it's your family, they're definitely going to feel that unalignment that you're just pushing through and you're going to relax when it's done. So you're not enjoying the beautiful conversations and the little moments throughout the day. You're just trying to get to the end result and you're skipping the journey along the way completely. What transformation actually is, in my opinion, it's that 2.0 version of yourself where you actually have a clear vision, and you're using a framework and a support system and part of a community that has like-hearted people around you so that you feel like you're supported. And everything flows from here. That's how I see it. A reflection of our life that keeps showing up of who you are and a sign of what you're here to do is actually going to require you to feel. And so you won't know where you're going if you don't reflect on where you've been. And if you reflect on where you've been and you look at where you are right now, you will see the pieces that led you to this point. It is one of those practices that is very hard for most people to do. Very hard to do on your own because we don't want to actually sit in that. And that's what makes it very hard for people to do the actual deep, hard work without help. They may read a self-help book. They may dabble in a little bit of inspiration, but doing the actual work without support is oftentimes not successful. And part of all of this is your attitude, the habits, and the perceptions, because all of these elements make up what we feel about ourselves. That's part of our self-esteem. And so what I'm going to do today is I'm going to share my transformation story with you only as an example, because what I want you to envision is your own transformation, your own 2.0 version of yourself, you being the hero of your own story. So I will share my story because being on the other side of a lot of the things that as a mom and business owner serving others, you are likely experiencing, if you're listening to this podcast. And because I've had success and have done the deep work and have now a dream schedule with an income that matches what I want for my lifestyle, I can speak from a place on the other side as your guide. So here's my story. And again, like I said, I'm sharing this so that you can envision your own. But my story started many decades ago, and when I was a little girl, I had a deep, deep desire to become a mother. I also was a very creative person, and I enjoyed serving others. I had a very nurturing side of me that just came very natural. It just was there. And what I learned is when I immersed myself, and I did, I've always been someone who liked learning. Grades in school came very easy for me, And I did try my best when I decided I was going to do something, the decision was made. I tend not to be a dabbler, and I do tend to make a decision on something and then move forward and figure out what needs to be done. That is just me. And so for me, when I learned that my time was up doing something, I may sit in it for a little while, but typically it didn't last too long before I would move on because I knew that that was no longer serving me. So my health was one of the things that was shouting to me already in my early 20s, so a very young age. And I was in the career that I chose as a hairstylist and a career that I thought had a very flexible schedule and would allow me to be able to create my own schedule around my family. I did not know that in many cases that was not the case, but that was where I was coming from. So my health started to fail. I was not reacting well to the chemicals around me and I had no choice but to listen to my body. And along with that, I also had this deep desire to become a mother and I was experiencing infertility. So now I was potentially losing the career that I had chosen and had worked towards educating myself in. And I did like working with people, and I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills and move forward. So for me my health was a reflection of the chemicals and the environment that I was in. And the infertility I was experiencing was also part of that health element, but there was also the inner turmoil that I was feeling Because your emotions do actually settle in your body, and I was feeling not aligned with the set schedule that I was required to work at that salon. And it didn't mean that it was wrong for everybody else. It just meant that for me, it wasn't aligned. It wasn't aligned with my values and what I wanted. And so I was feeling that struggle. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do, and I did try doing different things within the industry, and they weren't aligned. I even tried a few different types of businesses, and ultimately they weren't aligned either. But I did listen to the whispers of, "Maybe this is it, and I won't know unless I try." And that is a pattern that I have repeated of not staying too long in a situation and actually moving, and that is a good thing. So the struggle of missing out and being in a position where I wanted something different, I did make a decision to start my own business. And at this point, I had a baby and a toddler. My infertility issues were overcame with the modalities and the choices that I made. And when I became healthier, I was able to become pregnant. And along with that, I experienced several miscarriages. Deep, deep losses. And that in and of itself was such a journey because I learned so much. And that is how I like to look at my life when there are hardships, is what was the lesson? What did I actually learn from that? And then from there, how was I able to move forward and make better choices? So having a toddler and a baby, starting my own business, my husband is now laid off. It's during the recession. And I was so incredibly busy, which for our income being on, you know, one income at this point, that was very helpful. However, it was really stressful. I was missing out at home and trying to learn how to run a business without the foundation. So of course, I made many, many mistakes, and I did actually become pregnant six months into this journey. And I was very, very ill with that pregnancy, and there was a lot of hardships, upon the delivery of that pregnancy. And I continued to push through because I didn't feel that there was another choice. And it increased my stress level, and my overwhelm. Definitely didn't help me in the health situations that I was dealing with, and I didn't see a better version, a better example. I didn't know of a guide that could help me, so this was living in survival for sure. And with that, I continued to try new things, trying to find a solution. And continuing on this foundation that was really weak, I also was not sustaining a business built in the way that it should have been. And so I was making very emotional decisions, and that was not sustainable. So what I don't want for you is for you to have to go through decades of struggle and building upon a structure that's not solid. What I want is for you to have something that is solid from the beginning and having the community and support that you need. And so when you can't find the existing answer and solution, you need to become the hero of your own story, and the answer to that is having help. And I utilized multiple guides in my journey. So I started with using a guide that during the worst financial year of my business, which happened to be the year of COVID, I used a guide that taught me how to actually run a business, and there's so many elements to that, none of which I would have been able to do on my own. I just didn't have the knowledge and the help and the support. And it was a great start. Unfortunately, I did not have the emotional and physical parts of my foundation where they are today and where they needed to be to live a fulfilling life, and a tragedy and loss that happened started my journey in that area. So that was shortly thereafter building my business foundation, and that led me down a completely different path. And I did use a lot of modalities and guides, and I did the work. I did the hard work, the work that nobody wants to do. I chose to do it. And I was in my late forties, and I was doing the work because I knew it needed to be done, and I knew that this is what I needed to do to get to the other side of my transformation. So I stopped listening to the advice that came from unaligned people and chose to instead come from alignment of the vision that I had for myself, and I'm so grateful for all of the experiences and the help that I had throughout the years. But what I wanted at this point was what felt fulfilling to me in my life. And my biggest hurdle was just having more quality time, and having that quality time filled with joy. I had to overcome the fear, and now living on the other side where I'm not in chronic stress and overwhelm and I was able to integrate the parts of my life instead of choosing or trying to balance it all. And this is where I guide from. And this is why I trust in God, and I've noticed the synchronicities. I learned to ask better questions, and I would want you to ask better questions. Ask yourself, "What are your values? What do you want?" And ask yourself, "What are my values? What do I want? And what do I not want?" Are you the example for your children, your salon team, your customers? Or do you lead from a place of do what I say, not what I do? And if that's the case, don't expect respect back. If you're not living it and you're not being her, your level of respect will diminish, period. Leading and guiding requires a different level of practice. You're not your children or your team or your customers' BFFs, and if that's what you're doing and you're struggling, then that's a good place to start. You are someone because you're some of the one is what one of my coaches, Cathy Heller, says often, and I believe in that. I believe in deeply in my faith, and I do believe that we are being led by something beyond ourselves. And so what do I do? I utilize a practice. Avoiding conflict at all cost is no longer a narrative. I don't stall on making decisions, and I don't believe in work before play or play before work. It's not an all or nothing. It's I work less behind the chair now than I did before in alignment, making an incredible income. I love the curated time I have in my office for my other roles as part of that salon business and part of this new business, and I have the quality time for my well-being and my family and the things that are important to me. So the chronic stress and the overwhelm cycle and giving in unalignment for my life's purpose is something that I'm no longer choosing. I could always feel it, and it felt like this little bit of uneasiness or even sometimes bitterness. So what I want you to do today is think about the takeaways. Start with asking better questions. Some examples might be, "What are my values?" "What feelings do I want to experience?" And, "What makes me feel unaligned or unfulfilled?" Maybe even a little bitter. If you want help in these areas, you can DM me on Instagram at TimewithSarahSwift. You can go to my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com, and you can sign up to join my private community. This is where I am going to communicate all of the things that I'm doing and anything exciting that will be coming up in the future. You'll get full communication in this group. And if you find value in these episodes, please share with a friend. Thank you. Have a blessed day. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please follow or subscribe to the Integrative Mother Experience on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen so you're notified about the new episodes coming up. Please also take the time to leave me a review. This really does help me. I would love to see your beautiful faces. If you want to take a screenshot of this episode, I would love it. Tag me on Instagram timewithsarahswift, on Instagram, so then I can re-share your post. You can also start today by grabbing my free checklist and check out some of my favorite things on my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Until next time, my beautiful mamas, thank you so much.