12. Mother's Day Special Series: Solutions for 3 Common Struggles of Moms in the Beauty Industry: Interview with Salon Owner Jamie Goll, Part 1

Mother's day special two part series just for you. Do you ever wonder if you're the only mother struggling while wearing multiple hats? Today's interview with Jamie Goll, wife, mother, trichologist and salon owner uncovers the three most common struggles I hear over and over. She gives great insight and encouragement for all of you younger mothers that desire more joy. 

If you are wondering why you still struggle, this is for you. 

In This Episode:

-3 common struggles for moms wearing multiple hats, especially in the beauty industry

-Dads at home pros and cons

-Desires of moms that own their own business and serve others

Resources for this episode:

-If you loved this episode, please make sure to:

✨️Start here by going to my website, sign up for my free T.I.M.E. Private Mamas Community & check out my FREE checklist for Joy & Fulfillment Now:

"It's always time to choose joy & fulfillment," just for Mamas like you that own a business/work in a service industry

 https://www.theintegrativemotherexperience.com

-Leave a review- it helps other mamas find me

-Follow me on Instagram@T.I.M.E.withsarahswift

Jamie Goll Instagram: @rootedawakeningswellness

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Transcript

Sarah Swift 0:11

Welcome to the Integrative Mother Experience Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Swift, mother of three teenagers. I want to have conversations about why so many mamas wearing multiple hats, working, serving others, or owning a business, especially in the beauty industry, feel like they need to choose between their work and their family. We'll also uncover common causes of overwhelm, lack of wellbeing, and joy. I am here with over three decades of experience working in the beauty industry, owning several types of businesses, starting in my twenties, and sharing stories to help other mothers avoid the feeling of always missing out. Time is an asset. We can't get back. I can't wait to dive into these deep conversations. I hope you will join me. Welcome back, my beautiful mamas. Today's episode is going to be perfect for the Mother's Day weekend. You'll understand a little bit more why I use the word integrate in my business. It really actually covers so perfectly the common struggles that I'm hearing over and over again, and also the common desires I'm hearing over and over again when I'm talking to or interviewing moms that are wearing multiple hats. They're running a business mostly in the salon industry, but also in other industries where they're serving people and running the business as a mom. You're also going to hear a little bit about what it's like to have dads at home while moms are working and what the struggles and or pros and cons of that may be. And we're going to round up with something that I think all you younger moms will really benefit from, where I'm covering what advice Jamie would use for her younger self. And I think even if you aren't a younger mom, maybe if you're holding on to things that were in the past and they're not in the current moment, you can give yourself the grace and compassion that you need because we are living in the present moment and the time is always now. And so it is the perfect moment to let that go and enjoy what we have in front of us. Enjoy this beautiful Mother's Day weekend. And I hope that you learn a lot from this interview. Today we're here with my friend Jamie Goll. She is a trichologist and mother of four. Thanks for coming, Jamie. You're welcome. Thank you. So we're going to start off with just a few questions. The first one's actually just going to be really simple. So simply, what do you want? What do you want, not only in your business, but what do you want in life as a mother of four? This is easy. Oh, okay. I've done a lot of thinking around this. Okay. I want anything and everything that's going to do nothing but bring us pure joy. So joy is kind of the common denominator, joy, and ease and fun. That's what I want out of everything. But why do you want that? I'm just curious. I think because of my personality, I am very sarcastic, I mean, I get very serious of course, but I try to do things from a non-serious standpoint and I try to, bring more fun into everything that I do. Wow. I love that. Yeah, I actually did a lot of work around that when I was working with a life coach. Oh, well there you go and that was kind of things that, came up for me. So do you feel like you're lacking joy in finding your life? Or do you feel like it's a new focus? No, I just think for so many years of having small children in the throes of the everyday focus of being about everybody else, everybody else, you kind of lose some of that fun a little bit. So even though you don't think you have, but you have. So now that my kids are getting a little bit older, I'm able, I feel like I'm able to just kind of go, okay, now let's bring fun back into everything. Like instead of being so like toddlers, babies, you know, the busyness. Yep. Now it's let's bring more of just relaxed emotion into everything. So do you feel like you have that or you're trying to achieve it right now? Both. I'd say actively both. Okay. Like I do have a lot of that, but trying to bring more into it. This is so good. All right. I love this. This is, this is so awesome. So I'm going to ask you something a little bit deeper right on that subject. You want more joy in your everyday life. Why do you want that though? Beyond the, you had mundane, motherly chores. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like you were lacking like a level of depth in the past and or now, or why do you think that this is such a deep focus for you? Because I think for me, I always had this mindset before of gotta do, do, do, go, go, go. Be, be, be things. Yeah, and I've gotten to a point where I hit a level of burnout on all of that. So now it's, Like, how can I do this easier? Yeah. that's kind of where I am now, and I feel like I'm in a space where. I really love of some things. Granted, my husband being home was a huge help in that. Well, let's, let's tell everybody a little bit about that. So, Jamie, you've been married for how many years? 16. Okay. And let's just tell everybody the ages of your children so that those of you that are younger. and want to aspire to Jamie's level, of business wanting more joy at this point after she did all the doing can kind of envision what it might be like someday. So let's share a little bit of your backend. Sure, yeah, my husband and I, we've been married for 16 years. My oldest is just turning 17, so he has to do the math. We did it a little backwards. Dominic came first. Um, what a joy. That's right. So Dominic's just turning 17. Devon's 14. And then the girls are nine and 10, so, wow. So Jamie's got a full house, you guys. So for those of you that may only have one, maybe even two children, at this point, she is running a business. Raising four children. Yep. Branching out actually into something new in the beauty industry right now. So she's really been pushing herself. I've been friends with Jamie for about the last five years-ish, and we're in a group of business owners that talks almost daily. Mm-hmm. So she's got a lot going on. Which we all do, right? We're do, but we all busy. We all choose our busy, we all choose our craziness. Yes. But you, you're really inspiring and you know, I just want everybody to kind of know, where they could be at some point. So, so here's a fun question for you, Jamie. If, if I could pretend my, my pen is a magic wand, if I could wave this at you and you could have anything that you want right now. What would be the number one thing that you would say, Sarah, wave this wand and I want this. Well, we're just traveling. We're just traveling. Mm. Traveling the world. Okay. And so does that mean with my kids and without them? Okay. Absolutely. Okay. Because we're all about wanting to make those memories and having those more memories and values and more fun and joy. So I really. So memories was a big thing in what you just said, and you said with and without your children. So I think that was an important aspect also, that you may want to travel. When you say without, would that mean with your husband, with girlfriends, by yourself? All of it. And you know what? All of it. That is actually one goal that I have, okay. In this next year is I want to take specifically a weekend camping trip by myself. Okay. I love that. By myself, me in my tent, in nature, and a fire and that's it. This is so great. Which is funny 'cause I'm quite the extroverted person and other people light me up, but I'm also an only child. Yeah. So having that solitude is really important for me too. Well, it probably replenishes you again. It Totally. So that you can give back again because you have a lot of people to give back to. Right. All right. That was a really good one. So. Next question's going to be, what's your best and proudest achievement? And I'm sure you have so many, so this is going to be something that you might have to ponder for a moment. But, proudest achievement? And I'm sure you have so many, so this is going to be something that you might have to ponder for a moment. One of the things that I am very proud of is, and achievement wise is my marriage. Love that. My husband and I, like you and I were talking earlier, we both grew up in broken families. Mm-hmm. Both came from situations that maybe weren't the healthiest, and knowing that we're able to provide a loving, healthy. Environment for our kids, to me is a huge thing, given the situations that him and I have been in, yeah, it wouldn't have been projected that way. Yeah. So that, I think alone is probably one of my biggest, most proudest. Jeff and I talk about this as well, and I think, no disrespect at all to any of our parents. I think they all did the best that they could. 100%. Absolutely. Um, but there's just patterns that we wanted to break and there's things from our childhood that we don't want for our own children. So that's kind of what I'm hearing you say is like, you're so proud that you were able to take what your own childhood had. Maybe that was a little bit dysfunctional or whatever word you want to use and create a different outcome. Totally. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. And lucky for your children for sure. This question is going to be about your mom roles and your work. So what's the hardest mom and service provider role or roles that you have to handle? On a regular basis, the hardest of all. Yeah. Like what, what, what, what feels really hard for you being a service provider, a business owner, and a mother of four, something that you really struggle with? I think sometimes it's more of the knowing that I do work hard and I do work a lot, but when I say I work a lot, like I don't feel like I'm away a lot, but I mean I work, but I think mentally we work so much more than what we do physically, right? 'cause our business is always on our mind. We are talking to people all the time. Business is always on our mind, right? All the time. So I think for me, the biggest struggle is making sure that my children know that no matter what though, I'm still, I'm still mom, I'm still there, and then the struggle of, I hope my kids know that I'm there and they know that. And I know they do, but Right. But like, as a mom, it's, and especially since my husband is at home with the kids now, then there's also that jealousy sometimes of, oh shit, I'm supposed to be there for that moment. Not him, let's share this with the listeners. So that's something that, you know, they don't know the back end of that. So her husband started staying home with the children how many years ago? Well, it was October of 18 when he was severance out of his position. Okay. So he was in the banking, role and he's been home with the children since 2018 now. And Jamie owns her own salon and she has transitioned her business as well in the last few years, so, that's the back end of that story. Yep. Yeah. Okay. So now that, which is amazing. Yeah. I mean, what has that done for our kids has been great. But yeah, there's a little bit of that jealousy. Yeah, there's a little bit of that. Yeah. Crap. I should be the one there for this. Yeah. Or I should be the one there for that. But yeah, I get that wholeheartedly, but I also want my career, so I'm okay with it too. Yeah. You know, so it's, I'm doing what I want. Yeah. So that's, you know, but that's good too. But I feel like that's probably, if there's a struggle, yeah. That would be the struggle. So would you say your struggle is more mental, Feeling like you want your children to know that even if you're not physically there, that. You're always there for them, or do you feel like the struggle is more like, I'm gone a lot and I'm missing a lot. Right. At the end of the day, I'd want my kids to look back going, oh, mom just worked all the time. Yes. I want my kids to look back going. Mom's always there for us. Yeah. Even though she worked like she was still, she's still mom. Yeah. You know, and so that is what important. I get that because I went through a phase for many years where that's all my, my children would say to me. As you're always working, you're always working. My husband would say, you're never available. I can never talk to you. Right. So, but it sounds like to me like you have a pretty good balance. Like I think I do. You're still struggling a little bit though. You know, it's just always that self-doubt. Okay. That's always the self-doubt. Okay. So that is a hard one that, I mean that I think that is hard and you're wearing a minimum of three hats at all times. Mm-hmm. Minimum. Oh yeah. So what is the hardest thing as a business owner? So this is going to hone more in on actually your business. Not even like just Yes, you're business owner providing services, but you own your own business. Beyond that, as you and I both know, like you're working on the back end of things all the time. Granted now your husband's going to step up and take over some of those roles, which you guys, that's amazing. Yeah. What a blessing, but what would you say is the hardest or comes hardest for you even. Hope for the fact that I was a hairdresser that's opened up a business. I was never a business person with the knowledge and experience, the business degrees, none of that. Mm-hmm. So it's the biggest struggle was the trial and error of we're just going to do this and see what happens. Let's piecemeal this together. Right. We're pretty scrappy over here. Some things have. Failed. Probably more things have failed than not. Yeah. But that would be my, yeah. Biggest business struggle. Yes. Is now 15 years into being self-employed. Yes. I feel like I'm finally, yeah. Figuring it out took that long. Yes. To finally figure it out. So it would've been amazing to have had that foundation earlier. Oh god, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, I can relate to that, but could you have told me that 15 years ago? No. Yeah. I would've been too stubborn going here. I'm doing it anyways, you know, like Right. Oh yeah, for sure, and I think from our generation too, that was pretty normal because becoming a business owner without a full salon of employees was the thing, about 15 years ago. Mm-hmm. I've actually been a business owner for about 27 years now. I've had another business prior to hairdressing, many, many years ago. So 15 years is the same amount of time that I've been a business owner in the hair industry. So we really did it around the same time. Yeah. And I feel like everybody was starting to do it around that time. Like it was the norm. I think So I think renting, like going, renting or going indepenent was very big at that time. I think so too. So big. Yeah. And what was I thinking? 'cause I did it in 2008. No, 2009. Me too. When we were in the we in the recession of that recession. But hey. But you know what was kind of nice about being young and dumb is at that point I didn't really realize what a recession was. So for me, like starting a business at that point, it was kind of, I did okay. Yeah, I did just fine. And I think part of that too was I didn't have a fear of the recession. I just didn't even think about it. Yeah. And I feel like so many people are scared right now with the economy. Yeah. For sure she washy and I'm like, you know what? If I could build a movie back in 2009, yep. I can still do it without, you know, so there's that. But I think that's brilliant because. Okay. same thing, my husband actually wasn't working in 2009. I had a baby and a toddler and that's when I opened my business and I had no idea if it was going to work and if it failed, we had zero income. Mm-hmm. Because I left the salon I was working at for many, many years and I really didn't know what I was going to do. There was no plan B. Yeah. So. Yeah. To your point, figure out. Yeah, we're humans. You figure it out. You always figure it out. Yeah. Well, you're super motivated. So like, I like that mindset. I can relate to it. You were going to figure it out regardless. So if you failed, you would've did something else, right? Yeah. 'cause you'd have to, you'd have no choice but to figure it out, right? Mm-hmm. And if you didn't move forward and you didn't do anything, you would've never known, right? Right? Mm-hmm. Like you would've been the hamster on the wheel. You were probably unhappy, I'm guessing, wherever you were at that time. Oh yeah, totally. And that's why you wanted. Yeah, like, so tell me a little bit more about that. That's actually going to be my next question. So what was the number one thing, like why you wanted to have your own business if you could, if you could really say, I know there's probably many, many, but, okay. So the biggest honest answer. I don't do well with authority. I don't do well with people telling me what to do. I was never meant to be an employee Me either, even to the point where like, it's funny, I could be doing my laundry. My husband could come up to me and be like, okay, do me a favor. Can you go change your laundry? No, because you told me to do it. Now I don't want to do it. Oh, now I'm going to like, it's the weirdest thing. Where does that come from? I have no idea. That is one thing that I have no idea. Oh, we gotta dig deeper in this one. Yeah. I don't do well with authority. And you're an only child, Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. Huh? So it's not like you had siblings like telling you to do their duties or their chores. Super interesting. No, but yeah, that's why COVID did not go well with me because we had the government telling you what you needed to do that did not go over well with me. That is so, yeah. It's just, I know. I don't know what that is. That's probably what, even when I had my life coach that was one thing I never really dove into. But yeah, I don't handle authority well, so that was, self-employment is pretty much the way to go for me that way. So authority, control. All of those, so, and maybe that's it. Maybe I have too many control issues be cause I've learned, I have some I think we all do a little bit. No, I love that because that's really inspiring to anybody that wants to have their own business or maybe already does have their own business, and maybe they're struggling a little bit with not knowing if they should go back and work for somebody. Especially during these times when they're thinking, eh, well at least I'd have a for sure income, maybe I'd have some health insurance. Mm-hmm. In our industry, there aren't very many benefits. No. And if you're not running your business properly, you are missing out. You're leaving money on the table every day. Oh yeah. 100%. The last question that I'm going to ask you is if you could go back to Jamie prior to being a mother and a business owner, what would you tell your younger self? Oh God. it's okay to trust yourself. It's okay to trust yourself. I've second and third and fourth guessed every single thing that I've done. So if I could go back and just say, you know what, it's okay, trust yourself. whatever it is. Just do it. Would you say that every time you went out on a limb, even if it didn't go the way that you wanted to, you learned something from it 100% and you built upon it. Yep, absolutely. Me too. Mm-hmm. I love that. I think that's good advice for everybody out there that's younger than us, just to know, especially if they have a lot of responsibilities with children. Absolutely. And somebody said something once that I absolutely loved everyone and everything comes into your life, for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Love that. So even when things have failed, you gotta go back and go, okay, what was this reason? Was it just a season in my life? Was it that, every person that's come into my life, whether it's been positive or not, yes, there's been a reason for it. I just love that and I'm so glad you came into my life because I think about not even knowing you five years ago, and I can't even imagine. It's just so great. I, our little, I do love our little group that, yeah. It's amazing. Mm-hmm. And that's such a great quote. I, I think about that quote sometimes too. Yeah. Good and bad. Like, I've thought about it for people that like I really struggled with and then for whatever reason they left my life. And I'm like, well, that was just a season. Right. But that's okay. And what did I learn from that? Yeah. Why, what was the purpose? Right? There's always a purpose of why somebody was there. Oh, absolutely. I hope you enjoyed this episode. We will be back next week with part two, and I hope you have a really wonderful Mother's Day. Don't forget to go to my website and sign up for my email list so you can be part of all the latest, including the opportunities coming up at the end of May. That's theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Thank you so much, and have a blessed weekend.